Dec. 27th, 2014

As much as I love physics, this bit about crowded indoors is why I am not at North Gate ;) Hhehehehe.

Dec. 22nd, 2014

I was about to complain that the oven repair cost as much as a new oven, and then I looked to see just how much our double wall oven unit costs, and whoa! Glad the repair worked! Those ovens better never die.

Lesson Update

Ugh, I had SUCH a good lesson on Saturday! I got to ride Cider after like MONTHS of not riding him - looking back, Oct 4th was the last time! He's been a bit off for the past couple weeks from the cold and damp so wasn't being used at all, and before that the girl after me kept getting to ride him, so I have been CIDERLESS for FOREVER! So I was super-excited to see him down next to my name on the schedule!

And he's managed to get even cuter somehow - maybe it's the extra fuzzy ears?

He was fantastic. He was so good that we spent the lesson working on my position, which was nice. I was really working to keep my shoulders in their sockets - I have a tendency to give w/ my shoulders, probably because I have my elbows too straight for them to do anything! ;) Keep the shoulders rolled back and plugged into their sockets, and elbows with a soft bend next to my body. Tall, with chest open. It's really strange to have the focus be on my upper body - that's always been the well-behaved half of me!! But since my tailbone stuff, my leg has been pretty good (and now I've just cursed it...! ) and my upper body likes to curl up into a fetal position. I also naturally sorta tilt in from the right, so my torso is little turned to the left - and that's totally from all the mousework I do here at work. So tall, open, equal, plugged. When I manage all that, my hands are in the right spot and not like on the withers or in my crotch! And it makes Cider extra happy and he gives me the happiest trot! :)

And because my breathing wasn't as bad as it's been, we got to canter! Tracking left, SO PERFECT! He picked it up right away, I stayed tall, had giving hands, and we had no breaks and no changes in the lovely rhythm! It was SO NICE. SO NICE. Tracking right is his harder direction, but we still picked it up in good time, once I made myself not collapse my right side. And that canter was lovely too! No breaks, no rhythm changes! And I felt so secure and in tune with him! 99% of that was Cider just being awesome, but Leah insisted that he couldn't be awesome if I didn't help him to some degree, so I should take more credit. But still, mostly Cider :)

And now, like 3 weeks of no riding thanks to the 2 week break. I'm trying to see if I can squeeze into one of their special winter break dressage lessons, but because I took so long (thanks to waiting to figure out our CT plans and when DH's family is coming up) I dunno if they can fit me in. We shall see.

Dec. 16th, 2014

Dear rain - please refrain from coming tomorrow as we FINALLY have the skylight replacement scheduled. For tomorrow. Of course. YARGH.

ETA - and just got the email rescheduling it to Thursday!

We finally met w/ the contractor last week and have a good solid plan for the interior vestibule construction at a more reasonable price. And it shouldn't take two weeks to do as I said I'd do the painting myself..which is going to be a giant PITA as it'll be made out of panels consisting of 15 little windows, so that's A LOT of taping and fiddly painting. But the painter would have taken 5 days, and if I can cut off like $1500 and 5 days of Lydia being locked up, I'll do it!

Any way, I survived DH's holiday party! It was mostly fun - a bit awkward as DH isn't close to anyone like he was at the past two companies. But everyone was still friendly and pleasant, and DH snagged a GIANT COW PICTURE in the Yankee Swap which made it all worthwhile. One of his coworkers is also a 6' tall female, so that was exciting. And I got hugged by a Canadian. So that was good also. Did not wear the corset - next time, maybe.

I was stuck between a backwards-lurcher and a coughing fit student in line at the cafe this am. My toes hurt and I am sure I've caught consumption.
First - I'm glad I listened to you and picked up a tack store gift card for Leah, as she said that she told her sis-in-law that she'd love a tack store gift cert because there's all sorts of stuff she needs! Huzzah!

Still unable to breathe, so did "just" w/t again, but this time on Cam! You may remember him as the Horse with Too Many Legs! He actually felt like he had fewer legs this time - still more than any normal horse, but less than the 23 that he had last time! We did a lot of work on spiraling at the circle, and working on learning to control the 7--foot-long length of his body around corners. He's SO stiff to the right, poor guy. And this didn't play well w/ my weaker left leg - I know it's weaker so I make an effort to use it more strongly as the outside aid to keep him on the circle while my right leg keeps the bend, and because the bend is hard for him, he uses that left leg as a nice excuse to sorta duck into the circle and go straight-ish. If that makes sense. So it was an interesting learning process for me, and we did get some ok bend to the right, which was good enough, as he was definitely TRYING, at least. I like that about Cam - even when he has trouble or doesn't quite get what you want, he tries SOMETHING. He reminds me of Cider in that way - he really just wants to do what you want! I also like that he's less looky than Autumn, which was a nice sorta relaxing thing for me :)

Still horribly in love with his dressage saddle - so, so, SO comfy, even riding w/ hunter-length stirrups.



Sleepy. So sleepy. My cough is better, but I still have such chest tightness/heaviness, and being horizontal makes it worse :( Blergh.


Tomorrow evening is DH's company holiday party, and I'm, of course, nervous, as I only vaguely know one person other than DH. Eeee. And I have no idea what to wear. I'm tempted to wear one of my corsets because I never get to wear them and I got a cool new one w/ a hot-air-balloon-looking print, but I may be too scared to have that as my first impression. But if I don't, no clue what to wear, especially as DH is not at all helpful about the dress code specified! If only I had a festive Star Trek uniform...!

Our new boss started last week and we all quite like him. Though hopefully when we hire some new staff for in here we can hire a guy for something because it's starting to feel like we're a harem in here! ;)

Still no progress on the Kitten Lock, mainly thanks to us as like the week before we were set to start the garage work, DH was all "hey, how about we do instead that thing you suggested at the start that I said no to? How about that?" Which has launched meetings and emails w/ our contractor as we go back and forth trying to find a way to do it for less than 15k. WHICH IS INSANE. And it's making me insane too because now I have my heart set on doing it this way instead of the garage way, and I don't get why all these fancy things need to happen instead of popping up two half walls w/ a window and a door. YARGH.

ETA - this is the corset I'm thinking of, but with a black skirt instead of jeans:


Lesson Update

Rode Autumn!

She almost fell asleep when I turned to get my helmet on, like last week. (Note to self - put on helmet before you even start!)

Still coughing/unable to breathe so just walk/trot again.

Worked off the rail - make short sides as bendy as a half circle, stay straight (and off the rail!) on the long sides - encourage that big lofty trot!

Did a few times through 3 normal trot poles

Then Leah adjust them so that one side of each pole was raised, alternating )so that the first and last were raised on the left side, and the middle raised on the right)

Goal to go straight down the middle and have the right trot to feel the suspension over each pole.

First couple times through, not enough so a bit awkward.

Next couple times, AWESOME! Very cool feeling.

Must not be afraid of Autumn's big trot - it's not fast, just big. Way, way bigger than Rookie or Cider's big trot. Just need to get used to it.

Was then dead, so did the next part at the walk - staying on a circle, with bend, while doing the above. Harder to do than it seemed, especially at walk!

Liking Autumn more, though still slightly nervous about her. She's SO BIG. And while not excitable, more energetic and aware than what I'm used to. She hasn't given me real reason not to trust her, so should just trust her. Getting there.

Dec. 3rd, 2014

Well, the doc put me on Zoloft - she thinks I shouldn't be on it for more than a few months and that I just need something to break my OMG PANIC cycle that started with Papa/38 Studios/moving.

So do not want to take it - mainly because I know I won't deal well w/ if I gain weight from it. Which is stupidass, but there it is.

SSRIs scare me in general - and I know the ones of today aren't like the ones I learned about in my psych classes, but they still scare me. And they're not as effective on GAD, which is my main issue. I don't have the cripping social-anxiety or the panic disorders that SSRIs are aimed at when they're used for anxiety and not for depression. I think I'd rather just be nervous and take a leftover-from-flying Ativan when I get super-panicky.

She did also recommend a counseling place, so I am going to try to be brave and look into that, at least.

Dec. 3rd, 2014

I suppose being up an hour and a half earlier than my alarm because I was worrying about my doc appt at 3:45pm will just add ammunition to my argument that I have an anxiety problem? ;P

Dec. 1st, 2014

Oh! I also learned that Autumn is an OTTB! I knew she had to be a TB, with the body she has.